Tuesday, June 25, 2013

On PuppyCats and the Feet Thereof

This is my puppycat.


He has a tumor in his little dog foot. But it's a friendly tumor, which means he's going to be fine.

But when your dog is your only baby and there's something wrong with his little foot, you get a lot of worrying done. Even though he's just dumb dog who can't even talk yet, knowing that the vet said his foot looked abnormal just sucked all the happiness out of the world for me. I'd find myself gazing at him wistfully while he was sleeping, and worrying that his already too-short life span would be cut even shorter by some stupid growth in his stupid foot. That's how crazy I am.

And this is why I can't have human children — because my dog's totally benign foot problem became an almost earth-collapsing, soul-obliterating catastrophe for me. I don't know much, but I know human babies get sick, and injured, and other horrible things, and I am telling you I will not stand for it. I will not be able to tolerate a health crisis of human proportions.

And that is why we don't have babies.



2 comments:

Team Huffaker said...

One of the many reasons we also do not have children.

ixoj said...

Amen, friend.

Also. I love your dog.