Sunday, July 29, 2012

Dog food: Raw and Uncooked.

Outside, on the porch, where the animal feeding happens, there's a big bin with a screw-on lid that is usually filled with several pounds of fancy, all-meat kibble. Every morning after our walk, we make Fritz sit in in front of the bin and wait while we scoop out 3/4 cup of this stuff, sprinkle it with ground flax, make him look us in the eye, and then say, "OK!", so he can get on with his breakfast frenzy.

Right now, that bin is empty and echo-y and a little sad. This is usually a sign that we need to hightail it to Blue Collar Dog and stop being so lazy. (When our pantry empties out, we can go to Taco Bell. But there's no Taco Bell for puppies...yet!) Don't worry guys. The kibble bin isn't empty because we're trying to starve our dogbaby. The kibble bin is empty because we're going all East-side on you: raw, semi-organic, and all mixed up.

I spent all evening in the kitchen, collecting carrots, beans, pineapple, eggs (with the shells), and leafy greens—everything in my pantry that wasn't on the no-no lists—and piling them into my poor blender that, unfortunately, is not a Vitamix. The smell was amazing! Like freshness and nature and vitality! Rob hated it. Also, it made a ginormous mess. (I found green sludge behind my earlobe and inside the silverware drawer.)

I'm telling you is this green for reals.

The truth of the matter is that our dog has a problem. A very stinky problem. The poor dummy can't express his anal glands on his own. I know, I know. You want to know more! We discovered this problem with our noses. Every 4-6 weeks, our dog smells like a decomposing skunkfish. The vets (two different dog doctors) have had no suggestions. So every six weeks, Rob sets an alert on his phone called "Anti-Skunkfish" to remind us to get poor Fritz's butt glands squeezed out. You're so jealous.

And we were going to just keep doing this at $14 a pop, until a couple weeks ago. We were walking Fritz around the neighborhood when we met the hottest, youngest, most tatted-up lady vet in Silver Lake (walking the dog is about as social as we get...). We asked her about Fritz's problem and she said: Guys. Raw food.

So there's one cup of kibble left. Tomorrow, Fritzstopher Frolumbus gets his first taste of raw turkey and veggie slop. I'm anticipating a future of fresh breath and healthy butts. I'll keep you posted.


Team Huffaker said...

I guess at least you don't have to pop his butt glands like zits. That would be lots of skunkfish stink.
I am beginning to think any dog issue would be better than dealing with Koa's allergies...

Gretta Whalen said...

@Tasha I'll let you know if the raw food helps with the skunkfish. Fingers are crossed.

Poor Koa...what's wrong with him? Is he gross like my dog?

Loveless said...

dont do it!!! ahhh i hate raw food diets!