I don't feel so good.
I think it's because I socialized this week. I try not to socialize. It works me all up and then I get tired and cranky. This endearing trait is brought to you by stress and sleep deprivation. I share it with toddlers everywhere. Isn't my husband so lucky?
Even though I wanted to spend my weekend curled up on the futon obsessing about school work and school teaching and other such things, I submitted to my husband like all good wives do. On both Friday and Saturday night, I put on pants, went outside my house, and talked to other people. You're welcome. Now where's my prize?
Now, before you say who is this crazy broad and why should I give her a prize just for wearing pants? let me remind you that I wore pants two nights in a row and, more importantly, this was Halloween weekend. That means Halloween parties. And that means Halloween costumes. Costumes are not exactly a Rob and Gretta forte. We're all talk with no follow through. And even though Halloween comes at the same time every year, it always sneaks up on us. Like a zombie: slow, steady, and in your face, but somehow, you're still surprised when it takes a bite out of your brain.
We threw together our costumes on Saturday morning before I left for work. Originally it was going to be the low-key lumberjack/mime combo. Rob got ambitious and switched it to the sock monkey/bearded baby with a sippy cup combo at the last minute. People were charmed once we explained it to them. You'd be surprised how many people don't recognize a sock monkey hat when they see it. (You'd also be surprised by how many people have a problem with the concept of a bearded baby.)
It was a good party. Caramel apple bites, spider-topped cupcakes, brain-eating demon babies...this party had everything you'd ever want from a Halloween soiree. But then the games began.
If you know me, you know I'm not into games. Party-wise, I'm more into snacks. The hostess handed us each a slip of paper that informed us that OHNOHOLYCRAP! There's a murderer at this party! I read a little further, expecting to find instructions on how to avoid the pretend killer and blah blah blah and wait.... What? The killer is me? You mean I have to *gasp* talk to people I don't already know!?
Okay. I had a couple of choices. I could switch papers with Rob and make him do the dirty work. Or I could man up and start winking at strangers. I manned up. I winked at Rob and Toni first, making sure to do it with my right eye so they couldn't tell how bad I am at winking with my left eye. Then I ran to the bathroom cause I really had to go. At first, I tried the normal party schmoozing followed by a wink. But that got lame fast. So then I just started walking up to people and winking them to death without any of the pleasantries. The guy in the Jesus costume was on to me (all-knowing being that he is), but I got him eventually. He ended up being fine, though.
I killed the crap out of everyone at that party. And I made my husband proud! He didn't think I would go through with it. Of course, he didn't know about any of it til after he was dead...ha! ;)
The prize was the best part. Check this out: