Saturday, August 27, 2011

Dog Discipline: Using Your Words

We love our little dogtard. We really do. But he can be kind of a snot. Every so often—usually in the mornings/afternoons/evenings, etc.—Fritz turns into the most obstinate of creatures. It's like his brain gets swapped out for a JV cheerleader' know the type: all sass, no class, and so on. He doesn't smell good enough to get away with it, either. Instead of smelling like Pearberry or the inside of Hollister, he smells like beef jerky and indomitability.

My poor husband. He tries to be patient, he really does. But sometimes, he loses it just a little bit. When he does, you can usually tell by the way his vocabulary expands from "sit," "no," and "off" to language that's just slightly more complicated.

Here are some of the actual phrases Rob has used while disciplining Fritz:
  • Do you understand now why what you did was so bad?
  • You're getting really brave, son.
  • Nuh-uh, buddy. I win!
  • Are you serious? You're too lazy to turn your body around?
  • Don't be stingy with your love, buddy
I'm sure there are more, but right now I can't remember I'm too busy weeping like a crazy person because I saw this on the Internet. See, people who don't have dogs? This is why we invite these disgusting creatures into our lives. It's because they are the best.


    Huff said...

    Gretta, I thought about creating a dog-blog, but instead I'll just refer people to yours. Your stories are funny and writen better than i could. Also, I've been weeping like a 12 yr old girl at a Beiber concert the last few days since I saw that same story on the interwebs. I've been wondering if my dogs would mourn my death or just be happy that there is no one to clean up the poop in the yard.

    Gretta said...

    @Huff You. Are. Adorable. Thanks for reading this silly blog.

    You don't need to worry about what would happen to your dogs if you died because you're never going to die.


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