Friday, February 4, 2011

What can I say? Something about me just screams serial killer.

Last night in my Gothic Literature Seminar, we discussed Alejandra Pizarnik's fragment "The Bloody Countess." It's an icky-poo, true-ish story about this ... shall we say troubled? ... Hungarian Countess who killed hundreds of adolescent girls in really creative, effed up, Law & Order SVU types of ways. Go ahead and look her up if you're crazy. You'll notice I linked to her wikipedia page for your perverted convenience.

I made the mistake of submitting a discussion question that had to do with the story. At the beginning of class, I asked the professor what made this story Gothic Literature and not just historical writing. We seriously spent two minutes talking about this before moving on to other subjects. And let me make this clear, I was not the only student to ask a Bloody Countess-related question. Just one of several people, in fact. And my question was the simplest and least monstrous, if I do say so myself. Other people were like, "What is the significance of the teenage virgin blood baths?" and, "What, then, are the moral implications of forcible lesbian cannibalism?" But here's what happened:

Every time someone mentioned the Bloody Countess for the rest of the night — that's the next FOUR hours — they pointed, or gestured, or shot a glance at yours truly.

And so, dear Internet homies, I ask you. What. The hell. Is wrong with my face? Why did my classmates want to use me as a stand-in for a sadistic, psychopathic murderess? Is it because I was drinking Clamato? (Note: I wasn't.) Maybe it's the vampire connection and they just used me as the visual on account of my skin is a bright shade of migraine-inducing ├╝ber-white? Other than that, I got nothing.

Unless it's the Mormon/Vampire connection. In which case, I blame Stephenie Meyer. For this and every other bad thing that has ever happened to me. Yeah. That seems fair.

4 comments:

Jason Graham said...

I think it's time to start dressing the part. Go get some dark clothes, weird pewter jewelry, and a cape and maybe some really, really dark eye liner.

Hilary said...

hilarious. as usual. :)

Rachel Smart said...

You are so fantastic. I wish I could write as clearly and concisely as you.

Angela said...

hmmm...maybe if you let me borrow your gothic lit stuff I can tell you why you seem like a serial killer, by those standards at least.

p.s. everyone looks at you because you make super-intelligent comments and you're stunningly pretty!