My private friends live in a different world, though. They've got kids. And, as far as I understand it, kids come with really nice, expensive cameras and photography businesses. So with the kids come the pictures of the kids, and with the pictures of the kids come the weirdos. Then the weirdos leave weird comments and my friends' blogs disappear.
Here's my question, though: why don't the weirdos read my blog? I would love to open an inbox full of wacky comments! It would give me material for days! I bet the blogspot trolls are awesome. The way I see it, the Internet is nothing if not a portal straight into the minds and homes of the strangest people on the planet. I love that crap. Why do you think I watch "Celebrity Rehab" and "Hoarders"? On the Internet, no less!
So weirdos: if you're reading this, stop wasting your comments on my friends and their kids. They don't like it. Bring it over here. We need something to talk about over our Trader Joe's frozen dinners. It could be you! If it's pictures of kids you need, I can do that. I've got a park across the street. You just give me the word. In a comment.