Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Will exploit for food. (Actually, cash is better...)

I've decided a book deal would be a great way for Rob and me to assuage our perennial financial distress. Other money-making tactics have proved to be far too elusive. Like, say, being a sign artist at Trader Joe's (which sounds to me like the funnest job EVER) or, you know, my husband getting paid an actual living wage in this God-forsaken claptrap of a town. (Just kidding! LA is the BEST! It's as overcrowded and expensive as New York and infinitely less charming. Loves it!)

So after a night of extensive research (going to Barnes & Noble and looking at stuff), I've decided that the best way to get a book deal without actually, you know, writing stuff is to keep a blog documenting other people's startling and priceless stupidity. Mostly photographically. And then make derisive and bitchy, and therefore hilarious, comments. Observe:

Regretsy. I want to be best friends with this woman. She's like a ridicule ninja.

Passive Aggressive Notes. After living with roommates in Provo for four years, how did I not have this idea?

Cake Wrecks. Things that look like poo and/or wieners are hysterical to me. Because, apparently, I'm a 14-year-old boy. My husband is so lucky. Also, grammatical errors and misspellings are funny when they're in my food and not my newspaper.

I am neurotic. If this had been my idea, I wouldn't have had to bother with submissions. Could have written the whole damn thing by myself.

I need my own idea. Which means I need your ideas. What? If I'm not clever enough to write, like, an actual book, how can I be expected to decide what to write a funny blog about? Feel free to leave your ideas...I mean our the comments section.


Megan said...

What happened to the book you and your dad were going to write about your grandma?

Amelia said...

How about you blog about hipsters? Since we are just SO awesome and you love us SO much. Just kidding, I am not a hipster.