Friday, April 30, 2010

The Evolution of a Not-quite Hipster. In other words, "What happened? I used to be cool!"

For just your average shop-girl/grad student, I have a disproportionate number of friends in the wedding business. Wedding photography business, I should say. I have my very own, very talented wedding photographer Amelia Lyon, of course. (I say my like I keep her on hand for any last minute weddings I may be involved in. OK, fine. She doesn't belong to me.) She's really the one who got me started looking at the wedding blogs. Then there are the 7 million and 45 other friends I have who have taken up photography as their entrepreneurial pursuits. So I'm looking at all these wedding/engagement photos of these beautiful people, wearing their beautiful clothes, letting me spy on their beautiful lives, and this is what I see: however cool I may have been at one time, I am no longer that cool. (Do the kids still say cool?)

Number One: My Wedding.
I blew it. I didn't hand-make place settings out of tiny mason jars full of honey from the beehive in the backyard with tiny screen-printed name tags nor did I have vintage typewriter center pieces. And we didn't take any pics on my grandmother's tandem bike. Sad fact: my grandmother doesn't even have a tandem bike.

Number Two: My Husband.
Has a mountain bike, not a fixed gear. And when he rides it to work, I'm going to make him wear a helmet, so he'll look like a dork. Also, I can't get him to show off his chest hair like some of the studly dudes in the photos I've seen. Or shave his beard into a handlebar mustache with the ends waxed and curly. Then again, he could complain that I don't wear flower/feather headbands nearly often enough.

We're pretty hip on paper. Silver Lake address. Check. Musicians. Check. I wear Toms. Double check. That's a check for each pair. But it doesn't really translate. At the end of the day, we're just a couple of dorks, sitting around and watching "Modern Family" in our crazy underwear. But maybe that's what makes us cool? Or maybe Rob's bike just needs a basket?

In the mean time, take a look at this and use it to gauge just how awesome you are. Or aren't.


9 comments:

Hilary said...

More please! I laughed so hard I cried. It's true, "I'm ultra-natural, yet I had 20 plastic surgeries." And the crazy underwear line...ah--you kill me.

Hilary said...

Oh and I forgot the hipster-marathoning--or maybe that's just in mo-mo culture.

Amelia said...

Alright, I'm now a bona fide hipster. In fact, I'm so hip, I cannot see my pelvis anymore. Be jealous of me, seester.

Cliff said...

According to the chart...I was never cool...

Gretta said...

Well, I thought you were cool once. Maybe if you grew a mustache? I know that the flower headband I wore to church yesterday upped my hipness quotient significantly. Try that.

Dana said...

for your viewing pleasure, in honor of hipsters all over the world:

http://www.hipsterkitty.com/

Laura said...

Now I feel the need to wear scrunched fabric on my head and ride a fixie...

boxpilot said...

nerd here. i have accepted as inevitable that my kids will hate my music. . . and i theirs. . .

justin said...

hot damn, i am really cool.