Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Kitten Mittons!! (sic)

Rob's first reaction to "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" was lukewarm. It took me a while to get him on board. Fast forward to us watching this clip five times back to back before going to bed last night. And me watching it two more times while writing this post.


It's the perfect clip because it has something for everyone: cats doing funny things for my mom and grandma, and pants-crapping hilarity for everyone else.

If Hulu weren't retarded, you'd be able to see the awesome, awesome face Danny DeVito is making.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Some fine dumbassery.

I have a skinny husband. He's skinny and tall and sometimes when I look at him, I think he looks like a kid all stretched out. Like Mike Teavee. He's skinny and has about 72 pairs of these Levi's that are comfortably loose on him and I have been curious from time to time as to how these Levi's would fit around my...rounder...parts. Why? I don't know. Probably because I'm tired of feeling so good about the way I look all the time. You know, like most girls do.

So I, being a glutton for never-ending shame that I apparently am, chose a random pair of Rob's jeans to try on one day after he left for work. Just to see how they looked. Or whether or not I could get them zipped.

To my utter amazement, I got them suckers zipped AND buttoned. Then, feeling a little more confident, I stuck my thumbs in the butt pockets to pull the jeans down to a comfortable hip level. I pulled, thinkingly optimistically that I'd maybe expanded my wardrobe, until I heard a really bad sound. A ripping sound. Like, a ripping through the butt of jeans sound. It was a reluctant rip; I could tell those little denim fibers were hanging on with everything they had, as if they knew what effect the their ripping might have on my self-esteem. But they tore anyway. They had no choice. There was just too much ass inside those jeans.

As cruel fate would have it, I had picked an unwieldy pair of Levi's for my ill-fated experiment. There had been a small, thread-bare section of material around the right back pocket. Hence the ripping.

So my butt busted through my husband's pants. And then I had to tell him before he came home and found them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Help Make Mikey a Millionaire

I know I do this sometimes and the four or five people who read this silly blog may find it pathetic and or tedious, but I don't even care. I'm going to do it again. This is for you, Mikey!

Remember our buddy who did this wicked stupendous video for the Weepies? He's cool. And he's done a spec Superbowl commercial for Doritos and if you all watch it enough, he could win a butt-load of cash. The commercial features the brilliant, blinding talents of Dave, Keith and—last, but most beautiful—Briggleston Von Phelpsinstrat. Also, enjoy the sound expertise of Robbimus Prime and the unparalleled Dorito-scattering abilities of yours truly.

All you've got to do is go here and watch it. Just to make sure you're watching the right one, it's called "Hand" and it's by Boxpilot. You should see a handful of mormons and one very cool animated Dorito-hand. I know, I know. The website is downright intolerable, but they count the views, so you've got to go there and do it. If you don't mind.

Imagine yourself watching this commercial during the Superbowl and whilst patting yourself on the back and saying "I helped make this possible." Also, do it for Keith. He had to eat like four bags of Nacho Cheesiers that night.