Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Just because.

Happy Chrismakwanzakuh, guys!



Thursday, December 11, 2008

Hey, you girls!

I'm doing a story about general female cattiness; you know, jealousy, gossip, competition in the workplace, fights over boys, etc., etc. I would like to know YOUR thoughts on the matter. Any experiences you'd be willing to share (just with me—I'd get your permission before I printed it, I promise!) or personal pearls of wisdom would be enlightening and probably hilarious. ;)

And if you have any ideas to solve this global threat, or at least help alleviate it, I want to hear those, too!

Either send me an email ( or post it in the comments. Even if you don't know me! And forward it to your friends, too, if you would. I'm dying to know what you think.

Thanks, ladies!


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

You suck, Donald.

In an effort to get that sugary, magical, just this side of uncomfortably warm and sweaty Christmas feeling—the one that rushed in like a monsoon when I was younger and the getting of which has become exponentially more difficult as the advancing years bring me closer to abject poverty—I've been scouring the Internets and Youtube for the cinematic yuletide staples of my youth. Surprisingly guilty indulgences including (but, of course, not limited to): Used to Seem Longer Mickey's Christmas Carol; Disney's "Wow, my mother was patient" Very Merry Christmas Sing-a-long; Pee-Wee's 1988 Christmas Special featuring Skinny Oprah and Grace Jones of the Horrifying Androgyny; and Creepy, Stop-motion Rudolph and the Subtly Homosexual Misfits.

But nothing that I've seen is as awesome and awful (awesfome?) as this old Donald Duck Cartoon.

We all knew Donald was a lousy bastard. It's kind of his thing. But this cartoon makes him look like a total A-hole. Chucking ice missiles at your nephews is kind of a dick move. It makes their retaliation with flaming coal arrows seem almost justified. Also I like the weird captions that start around the 2:00 mark. I can't tell if they're German, or if it's just the phonetic translation of what the speech-impaired ducks are actually trying to say.

My point is, I'm troubled by the cruel nature of the entertainment that used to fill me with holiday cheer. Does it say something about the kind of child I was? Yes. Probably something bad.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

soviet scientific history lessons, with a kicka$$ soundtrack

this is a new music video that i think is quite informative, as it is set to an old Soviet science reel-to-reel, and freshly released from the recently opened files of the long-secret KGB vaults. ENJOY!!

i'm sorry ladies, and ....well, no gentlemen I know read vampire-abstinence-porn... ladies, but THIS right here is what happens when you play with reanimated life forms; be they vampires, zombies, or curdled milk that doesn't smell "that bad". when the laws of God and nature are adulterated there ensues chaos, fear, death, and evil. no cutesey love stories about celibate hell-spawn. if any century-old teenager with super-human senses and strength is "waiting 'til marriage". hahahaHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAWHAHAHAHMWAHWEHARSERHASLDKJFHALKSDJH
sorry... got a little carried away there.