Friday, October 31, 2008

Remember the true meaning of Halloween?

In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?

Happy Halloween, everyone. You go enjoy yourselves. I'm gonna go get a haircut.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ooooh! Busted!

Seriously? So glad I'm not having a baby right now. He hides it well, but I know Rob is dying to name our kid November Raine McSucker Punch. You watch.

um... you had BETTER be making a brown, soupy mess in whatever-you-wear-under-there

i love movies.

do you know WHY i love movies? 'cause i can live a whole life, vicariously, in the space of 2 hrs (give or take) and learn lessons, love, lose, etc., and then come back to the real world where things are relatively safe (and usually more boring). i even love ridiculous movies because it's great to suspend belief and watch good conquer evil. but today i learned that we are doomed.

yeah. that's right! cyber-f***ing-DYNE. the same corporation that will cause THIS because of THESE THINGS. this isn't playtime anymore! this is a real corporation making real f***ing robots! so maybe james cameron didn't get the time-table right, but it looks like the japanese could be the brilliant minds who actually make robots that are smarter than us and eventually come to fear humanity's arrogance, neurosis and instincts of self-preservation.

i guess it could be considered payback.

Monday, October 27, 2008

i will NOT accept responsibility!

so, some left-wing nutjob commie bastard decided it'd be funny to make the world hate me. and that's not cool. that's just not cool.

but i do support strategic goatherd strikes!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Teenage Mormon Abstinence Porn!

Guess what has two thumbs and is interviewing one of the Twilight cast members tomorrow?

That's right...this girl!

Imagine me pointing to me with my thumbs. Like this guy, only me.

I'm trying to have the same kind of excitement for this opportunity that my friends would (I'm looking at you, Gina). The only difference is, I know NOTHING about these books. Nothing except that whoever this vampire dreamboat guy is, he's making everyone's husbands/boyfriends look bad. Just reading the summaries and watching the trailers has got me saying, "Now, why can't Rob stop a speeding SUV with nothing but his outstretched hand? What does it take to find a real man in this place?"

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Things have been so damned heavy lately. And I apologize. But today I found happiness again.
I love my latino brothers and sisters, 'cause they gave me nachos and burritos and stuff. And now I have even more reason to love and celebrate them.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lucy y Javier!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

A short list of words and phrases I never want to hear again:

Maverick, lipstick, pig, pitbull, hockey, mom, proposition (followed by a number), Wall Street, Main street, moose, partisan, bailout, sexism, gotcha journalism, drill baby drill, one heartbeat away, Fannie, Freddie, Charlie, mortgage, Joe Six-pack, elite media, thanks but no thanks, Russia, Trig, Track, barracuda, crisis, recession, depression, billion, dollars, pork-barrel spending, race card, gender card, Hillary Clinton, lesser of two evils...


Only 32 more days, guys. We can do it.

Nukular Help from William Safire

For Marge, Homer and Gov. Sarah Palin

The way to straighten out your mental dictionary, if you have this ''nukular'' problem, is to train your brain to think of the word not as three syllables but as two words: new and clear. Or you can wait until they bring back atomic.

And in case you don't remember:

Marge: Next to Spring and Winter, Fall is my absolute favorite season. Just look at all this beautiful foilage.
Lisa: It's not "foilage," mom, it's "foliage." Foo-liage.
Marge: That's what I said, foilage. It doesn't take a nucular scientist to pronounce foilage.
Lisa: [growls]

and, my personal favorite:

Capt. Tenille: Simpson, as you have experience in a nuclear power plant, you can serve on a submarine.
Homer: It's pronounced 'nucular'. Nucular.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I only like facts when they're straight.

First of all, I have to apologize for getting all learn-ish and read-ful up in here (those are code words for 'boring'). As I've said before, this blog is for ridiculousness and should, therefore, not be taken seriously under any circumstances. But I found this here document on the interweb and found it interesting and helpful. Also, boring.

If you're a California voter—or if you live in Utah but try to act like you live in know who you are—go ahead and read this. Warning: it's about Prop 8. Regardless of how we feel about the subject, knowing some of these info mcnuggets will help us sound not so much like A-holes when we talk about it. I've been told it's good to be informed. I've also been told it's good to have mind-boggling amounts of gold locked away in a concrete money bin, but you can't have everything, so maybe you should just not be so selfish. Seriously.

Update: The link should work now. Sorry about that, Katiebug. ;)