Wednesday, August 27, 2008


If you know me, you know I'm a people-hater. That's right. Most people are useless. All they do is crash into my car and make long lines at Disneyland. But today is different. Because today I made the discovery that some fantastic human creature, some brilliant child of God, came up with the single most unbelievably incredible invention in the history of everything, ever.

Behold. Pootah Pants.

Flawless in both form and function, this modern and becoming undergarment employs the gifts of a magical maxipad, one with the mind-boggling ability to neutralize malodorous flatus most foul.

But the question remains, will the Pootah Pants also render your rumbling farts speechless? Can they stop the stench and silence the war cry of your gut-busting mud-butt?

Only time will tell.

In the meantime, please enjoy this artist's representation of the literal pain and crippling humiliation that accompanies human flatulence.


Team Huffaker said...

Gretta, let me start by saying i love your blog. I don't mean that in a "it's-so-supper-cute-I-could-almost-die" kind of way. It refreshing to read a blog that actually has some literary merit. No other blog I know of tells it like it is, like yours. The truth about China and Pootah Pants are stories you will not find on, and damn them for not running these stories. If we put pits/dragons/pootah vs The Democratic National Convention in a steel cage grudge match, we all know who would prevail. Sorry you are unemployed but my sanity thanks you.


Amy said...

HA! Great minds think alike. I was finally going to stop lurking around on your blog & post a comment because these pootah pants are just too hilarious/bizzare & frankly I just enjoy reading your great posts & wanted to say thanks/"Hi"....and then I saw Aaron's comment. We're awesome. And so are you...which was the purpose of this comment :-)

Audy & Ash said...

WOW..I don't knowwhat else to say