Friday, June 27, 2008

Jobs are for people who are too lazy for unemployment.

Fact: It's easier to get a job at The Pentagon than it is to get through to the California Unemployment Department. Just try to call them and get through to a real-live English speaking person. I dare you. And God help you if you need to change your mailing address.

That being said, I believe that anyone who successfully completes the process of filing an unemployment claim deserves a vacation. Which—if anyone asks—is what I'm doing.

While my sister was visiting last week, she asked me, "So, what do you do all day? Just chill?"

Which got me thinking.

Most days I wake up at the same time as Rob.  I make him a sandwich and keep him company until he leaves for work around nine. Then I remember that I have nowhere to go, which is almost unbearably depressing. After a couple good hours of emotional self-flagellation, I make my way to my job away from a job in the murky nether regions of the interweb, where I try to find out where they're hiding all the jobs. Some days, I go for a run, or more accurately, a walk, on account of I'm out of shape from the five weeks of bronchitis following six months of laziness.

Every once in a while I mix it up with a trip to the grocery store or laundromat. And so far, during my professional hiatus, I've read six novels and learned how to cook salmon. Kind of. So, as you can see, there isn't a lot of time to just chill. Unemployment is wicked hard work. I think I'm ready for something a little less demanding. Like...I don't know...a job.




2 comments:

Amelia said...

Hah! I'm in this post! I'm glad your using your talent to write instead of worrying about being jobless! Wow, that sounds like something Dad would say... Your amazing!

Scott said...

Lovin the Blog...

Wish I was able to make it to your reception. Things just didnt pan out. But you guys are hilarious.